It Has Been Over a Calendar Year Since I Officially Became a College Graduate - I am ok.

The program from my graduation ceremony.. that I didn't walk in.

Last September I was running around spending too much money on printing and worrying too much about 'The Portfolio Show,' a three hour long event that looms over an art student's head for four years. The 'show' as we called it for short was an exhibit of everyone's talents; the photographers put out their pictures, the interior designers their blue prints and fabric samples. Us, the advertising students, we had a-whole-nother ball game to play, within our degree we had to pin-point which pre-approved industry title that we wanted to brand ourselves as, then we put together a portfolio (online and physical) that represented all of the hard work we've accomplished while at school. We were supposed to prove that we were more worthy of being hired than the next graduate. After four years of being built up and broken down those three hours of pitching our work from a fold out table seemed anticlimactic, but that didn't matter because I couldn't have been more excited to be done with the Art Institute forever.

OUR FINAL DAY AS STUDENTS - An Instagram Screen Shot from the Portfolio Show Sept. 2012 {{ Me + Danny G + Sarah K }}

Since graduating college I have been faced with the most challenging events of my twenty three years. I may be bruised, badly, but I will never give up on becoming the best version of myself, the me that I know I am capable of. 

The Tribulations:

One of my very closest friends, a girl who had more life in her pinky finger than most people have their whole body, a person who made an impression on me from that first day in gym class freshman year of high school passed away Thanksgiving weekend 2012. This loss has been almost impossible to digest, I still don't think I have fully accepted it. I am working on being happy and focusing on the fact that she is no longer suffering from her disease. That phone call will forever haunt my dreams and my heart is as heavy today as it was that afternoon when I got the news that this ray of sunshine won't ever shine upon me again. She is gone and that is something I will forever be sad about but I am so lucky that she chose to spread her love on me while she was here. I have so many memories of my ebullient friend's laugh, so vivid and vivacious in my mind that I know I will carry them with me until the day I join her in the after life.

The second most trying thing I experienced this year was grandmother being in and out of the hospital due to her Muscular Dystrophy, she was also diagnosed with Breast Cancer this year and had a mastectomy. Finding out that cancer, especially breast cancer when you have the necessary equipment, is in your family is terrifying and as much as you are there to support the currently inflicted the fact that you could be next is present in your consciousness. 

An Instagram that I took while having drinks with my grandmother last spring.

My parents announced their divorce in January, which is something that I have barely scratched the service of processing. It was a huge shock to our whole family after almost twenty four years of marriage and I am working on being ok with it. If there is a positive end of the divorce spectrum my family is on it because my parents still love each other and maintain a friendly relationship but their romantic feelings just don't exist anymore. It is a hard thing to wrap my head around and I have spent a lot of time pretending that I'm ok. I am obviously old enough to understand that my parents deserve to find their new happiness but I just have to get used to the idea that our family unit is a bit different. There are awkward moments and strange situations that we have to deal with but between my mom, my dad, my brother and I were are pretty strong, well-adjusted people that will get through this together, it's just a new kind of together. 

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From the passing of a beautiful young lady that I loved to the moon and back, to my parents ending their marriage, to my grandmother struggling through a breast cancer diagnoses I have experienced an emotional year since I graduated college last September. I don't have a salary job, I don't have somewhere that I have to be from 9am-to-5pm Monday through Friday. I am sometimes stressed about money, I am doing the minimum payments on my loans but, you know what? I am ok. There are things that I choose not to focus on in this post, this summer I experienced heartbreak and caused someone I love a lot of pain, I was betrayed publicly and temporarily lost the trust of one of my best girls. And I am doing just fine. I am my own best friend and I am working through these things the only way that I know how, at my own pace.

I still get a bit anxious when people ask 'how life is since graduation' but the truth is, that I don't want a nine-to-five job, and the fact that I don't have one is not a sign of my success or failure. I am working on projects that I love. Sol Inspirations is a wonderful non-profit that I have been building for years, and will continue to work with. Project Footsteps is amazing and I get to make a different in the lives of kids. The Foundry Home Goods is a fantastic and thoughtful retailer that I helped get where it is today. But the best part is that these things give me the flexibility to take other gigs, do some Production Assisting, travel on a whim, spend quality time with my family, deal with issues as they come up, continue to educate myself and explore different opportunities. So far being a graduated adult doesn't feel that much different than being a college kid, which is awesome because I loved college. People might look at you a little differently once you have a degree but really you are the same person capable of the same potential and the pressures should be no different: Find your version of happy. I create myself everyday and I am having a great time figuring it all out. 


xox, kp